Pacer Pillowtak: Libido
Humans and their mammalian counterparts experience a phenomenon called “courtship attraction,” a characteristic commonly coined as “being in love.”
The shared trait between mammals and humans that contributes to the experiencing of love, sex drive, attraction and emotional closeness is libido.
Libido is the desire for sex. In humans, the sexual drive or desire varies, with some people experiencing little to no drive versus those with a more frequent, or stronger drive. There is no “normal” level of libido, the preferences and life circumstances of individuals are highly diversified.
Concerns regarding libido usually regard lowered levels. Medical conditions, medication side effects, performance anxiety, fatigue, stress, interpersonal incompatibility are but few of the possible reasons to lowered sex drives.
Experiencing a dip in sex drive may cause distress for some individuals; this is especially common in relationships that have begun to develop “familiarity,” where couples’ sex drives tend to lessen with time.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, individuals with concerns of hypersexuality or compulsive sexuality fear lack of control. According to the Mayo Clinic, heightened libido becomes a problem when “sexual behavior is having a negative impact on other areas of your life, such as your health, relationships, work, etc.” Signs of sexual compulsions may be difficulty limiting sexual behaviors with no success, dependence on sex, using sex as an escape from other problems.
Biological factors that can influence libido are menopause, dyspareunia (painful sex), involuntary clamping of vagina (vaginismus), pregnancy (hormonal fluctuations, primarily prolactin), infections, impotence, anemia and other health complications.
For those suffering with relationships and sex drives, counseling has proven to be a helpful measure by developing communication skills and cultivating intimacy without sex being the necesity.
Libido is not easily quantifiable other than terminology like “high” and “low,” so one should judge their sex drive by personal standards. Libido is impacted by the intricacies of personal life, including external stressors, internal stress, relationships (current and past), religion and culture.
Intimacy, though, is not exclusive to sex, and as long as there is no reason for concern with yourself or between yourself and a partner, professional help is not needed. If you do have concerns, building a foundation of trust and communication through therapy or conversations with a partner may ease sexual stress.
